What was your first impression of each other?
Rory: My first impression was “This girl is crazy, but in a good way.” She was so fun and down for anything. I was so mesmerized at how she was making me and everyone around her feel. She laughed at ALL of my jokes, which means even more because I thought she was the funniest person I’ve ever met.
Anna: Obsessed. I thought he was soooo cute and funny. He was also very polite and respectful (which I wasn’t used to). I went home after we met and wrote in my journal “whoever gets to marry Rory Mellor is one lucky girl.”
What is your favorite thing about each other?
R: My favorite thing about Anna has always been her insane mothering instincts. She is caring, attentive and sweet. Even before kids, her empathy was unparalleled. I also am so impressed at how anytime we are at a social event, within 20 minutes you can usually find Anna in the corner with a girl she just met that is overly sharing about her life. Anna is so easy to open up to because she genuinely listens and is so non-judgemental. Honorable Mention: She is so creative and graphic design savvy that often goes overlooked by most.
A: I have to pick one?!?!?! How!! There are so many!! Ok. besides the obvious of how good of a partner and dad he is… maybe how quick he is to better himself. If I present him with a problem or express something that is bothering me he ALWAYS fixes it and makes sure I feel heard. You’ll never catch him making the same mistake twice!
How long have you two been together for?
We met in April 2015… we were engaged by November…and then married the following April (2016). So together 9 years. Married 8.
What is your number one tip for resolving conflict?
R: Take 5 is our go-to conflict resolver. Anytime we are going in circles and the argument isn’t going anywhere, we usually call a ‘Take 5’ where we need to separate for a little bit and get our emotions under control. Usually that brings the hostility down 95% and we can get to the root of the problem.
A: Some space!! And bonus tip: during time apart if you put yourself in their shoes and try coming up with an argument for the other person. It usually helps me have an understanding of where Rory is coming from.
What’s most important to you in a relationship?
R: For me, the most important thing is to try to make your partner laugh at least once a day. Having fun and doing stupid silly things in front of your spouse is so important.
A: Having fun! If you don’t laugh you cry! So try and laugh together even through the stress. Life always has a way of working itself out!!
What are your thoughts on couples therapy? If you’ve attended therapy, what have you learned?
R: We LOVE couples therapy! Our first time was with Ours and it opened our eyes to how you can be married for years and still have questions that have just never been brought up. Plus, because people are always changing and evolving, the person you marry will not be the same in 5 years and neither will you. Couples therapy is so helpful in making sure you and your partner are on the same page and help you two change and evolve together.
A: I think every couple could benefit from therapy! The stigma is couples go to therapy because something is wrong/broken but I think couples should go to therapy BEFORE something is wrong or broken. It’s a great tool to have a professional help you improve your relationship skills!
Describe how you met in emojis:
🔥➡️🍕🚗❤️
What’s your rose/bud/thorn?
Both:
- Rose: We are really good at sharing the load of being a parent. We both try to step up and do the dirty work when we can but also are very open and not afraid to ask the other person to do something.
- Bud: Something new that we have been incorporating is taking one week a night to do something fun together at home with no T.V. or phones after the kids go to bed. We will do puzzles, video games, read together, play a board game, do impressions, etc.. This has been an incredible change to the routine of watching t.v. or playing on your phone. It is fun and reminds us of our first year married.
- Thorn: A thorn of ours is finding ways that both of us can enjoy quality alone time. With two young kids (one of them still a baby) added to the fact that we are both work-from-home parents makes it a struggle to find time for ourselves sometimes. We have been more vocal about when we need to be left alone or just get out of the house, but finding the perfect balance has been tricky